I want to share a bit more about our family’s journey with healing chronic illness in two of our children. This subject is very near and dear to my heart, but also hard to speak about as it is still ever changing as we continue the healing journey. We all have these dreams of what our family life will look like, the perfect picture. Well, sometimes that perfect picture isn’t quite what you thought it would look like, but yet it is still perfect. Our soul’s chose these challenges, just like our children’s soul chose the challenge of illness as well. They chose us, as their parents, knowing what we could accomplish together in this lifetime. I know some will not agree with this and that is okay.
Our plans started to change from “our perfect picture” while pregnant with our second child. We knew he was a boy, so we knew he had a 50% chance of having Severe Hemophilia Type A, as I was a carrier. Although I had dreamt that he had hemophilia and knew that it was truth, I was still holding onto the thought that I could be wrong. We fought for the homebirth “we” needed to bring him into the world safely but also made compromises with the Doctors to go in for observation postpartum. The moment the whole picture changed was a few hours after his birth, while in the hospital and the whole Bleeding Disorders Team walked into the room. They didn’t need to say a word, we already knew our son’s diagnosis. Our life picture CHANGED, it wasn’t gone, it was just different. After a short conversation about the diagnosis, the nurse handed us a 3” binder with the words “here is some information to look over, it will give you a good reference as to what life with hemophilia looks like”. To be honest, I didn’t look at this book for months, as I had grown up with a father with the same condition. But when I did, it did not paint a pretty picture. There was a whole lot of: “these are the things you cannot do”, “you should expect this much bleeding per month”, etc. This moment is where our healing journey began. In those moments of reading this binder, I could have accepted it as it was written and that this is how our life would look. But, I didn’t. Some may say this was just denial and a part of the grieving process but I knew deep down that there was more that I could be doing as a mother for him, for their health and for their healing.
This knowing lead us to the right people, at the right time who had the right information I needed to help my sons (now two sons with Severe Hemophilia Type A). We have used many modalities throughout the last 8 years and we have seen so many improvements within their daily lives. It is incredible. To go from being covered head to toe in big, purple, raised bruises from just being held as a baby, to very minimal and what would be considered normal bruising with the help of homeopathy, energy healing and other natural healing ideas. To go from multiple bleeding episodes a month, to being bleed free for 2 whole years. By believing that it is possible, changing our belief systems that were holding us back, integrating crystals into our home and life, past-life healing, setting healing intentions, energy healing, feeding our body properly and so much more. It is amazing what honoring your intuition and trusting that our bodies know exactly how to heal. Now, some of this change is due to their IV medicine that is administered by me at home 3 times/week, but their medicine does not discount the extra healing that has gone on. I know I am talking about a touchy subject and that most will not believe that a genetic disorder can be healed, but we are well on our way to doing so.
I now know, the I was chosen to be his mother because together we would create change. By challenging our own internal belief systems, by questioning everything that is set before us, and always honoring our intuition. Changing how people perceive healing of illness in their own bodies. Changing the one size fits all approach to healing. Changing how we look at our own bodies and the power of intentional healing. Helping others to see that healing comes in all shapes, sizes, forms. That healing comes from ideas, from people, from love, from releasing the past and most importantly BELIEVING that you can and will be healed.
And to finish up, we need to trust our intuition, it is there for a reason, to guide us. It will not steer you wrong. It may lead you on a path that no one has gone down, but you were meant to go there. It may seem scary and sometimes feel like you are grasping for something just out of reach, but you were meant to be the leader for a reason. You are teaching your children and the others who are watching to honor their own intuition, that no one knows their own bodies better than themselves. That what others say or what is written does not need to be taken on as your own belief. You create your own belief systems, you can re-write these beliefs when they no longer serve you and you can create change in all areas of your life.
Sending you all love and healing!
Ashley